We haven’t talked in about 10 years, and it was so good to hear from him. I guess he found out I’m back in business, and he reached out. We talked for about an hour to get caught up. He’s doing so good. He’s got a big family – 3 girls and 3 boys – and now he’s actually a grandfather. At 44 years old! I’m so happy for him. He’s really got a great life.

He sent me some photos too. It’s been more than 20 years since I first met and filmed him. He was a hot little muscle boy back then, and now he’s a super hot muscle Daddy. WOW! I told him I thought he should start up a Justfor.Fans page so all his fans can catch up with him. I’m sure they’d love to see what a stud Daddy he’s turned into.

It’s hard for me to say how excited this makes me. He is one of the best guys I ever filmed, and he really came to mean a lot to me. I know he was in some troubled times when last we talked, and I always hoped he turned out OK. I know others I filmed didn’t end up well. That’s part of the reason I stopped filming. I lost Austin, and that shattered me. I lost Joshua Berlin, and that was devastating. Then I lost Trent Stone, and that sent me into a downward spiral of regret and hopelessness. So, I stepped back. I stopped filming. I wondered if I was some kind of angel of death or something. But, after so many years of reflection – and a little therapy – I came to the realization that I’m not in charge of others. I can’t fix broken people. I can’t make them into something I want. They make decisions that I can’t control. I know that now. But, back then it was super hard. I felt like I’d failed. Like I’d taken them someplace dark, and I couldn’t take them back out.

So, now to hear from Cade, and to know he’s doing well. Happy. Well adjusted. With a wife and family who loves him, and who don’t care about his past.  Well, it means a lot to me. All I ever wanted for my models was for me to help them get ahead. Sometimes with money, sometimes with guidance, sometimes with just love.

Cade promises we’ll stay in touch this time. He wants to see some photos from back then,maybe to show around to friends and family. He’s proud of what he did, and I’m so proud of him.

The guys I filmed weren’t just “product” to me. They were each and every one of them special to me. I saw them as who they were, and I valued them. That’s why I did so little scripting or contrived stories. Pizza boy delivery and all that. I just put the guys on film, and talked to them. I don’t see that much today. Interview style videos. A few, but even they often seem scripted.

In any case, if you watch Cade’s videos with me you’ll see what I saw – a charming, handsome, intelligent young man that I wanted to immortalize on film.

And now he’s my friend again. 

December 11, 2001 was the day we first met.

Life can be good.